The Rosebush

So if we discover that the government or even a celebrity has lied to the public, there seems to be outrage - how dare they etc etc.

But… it occurs to me… people lie. Some people more than others. And I have been wondering - what is the appeal? What actually is the real reason? Personally, I’ve never seen the point in lying to people. Sure, I very occasionally tell little lies, ‘white’ ones which I hope will generally go towards saving people’s feelings rather than hurting them. I’m not really talking about those. (My most common one is “Honestly, I’m FINE.”) But isn’t it so easy to tell when somebody’s been fibbing?

I mean… if you fucked something up, isn’t it better to go “er, whoops, I’ve been a twat” rather than trying to cover it up, only to get found out anyway? Some of us are quite resourceful at discovering misdemeanours and untruths… sometimes it’s instinct but other times it’s just plain obvious.

I guess it bothers me because I see dishonesty as probably the biggest problem on the planet. I see no real justification for it at all. Isn’t life interesting/risky/exciting/dangerous enough when all we consider is what is actually *true* and *real*? Why bother? It just pisses me off, on a grand scale - especially when it’s not even worth lying about! eg. ‘I didn’t get your text message’ or ‘I er… really like your top’. It’s so patronising - you think I can’t deal with the simple fact that you couldn’t be arsed to reply? You think I don’t know that people have different opinions on how things look? These are just two examples I’ve plucked out my past at some point or another. What’s wrong with “Sorry, I’m crap aren’t I” or “I couldn’t be arsed to reply” or “didn’t know what to say” or “Hm, remind me never to ask you to lend me any clothes”. And let’s face it, that’s just the bottom rung of the grand lie ladder. We’ve all heard much more serious ones than that.

What do you people think? Are you a bunch of liars?

… Just after I posted that last message, Orange sent me a text saying my bonus top-up this month is £16!!  Do you think they’ve got blog-spies in their marketing dept??

I like them again… for now.

[disclaimer - if you are offended by swearing then piss off and stop reading my blog before you get all hoity toity and upset.]

What is the point in giving me 580 free evening calls to other Orange phones when I dont have a FUCKING SIGNAL anywhere near my house?!?!?!?  Add to that the fact that nobody else I know is on Orange, because O2 are offering so much more cool stuff, why oh why am I still with Orange????

…with a 5 month old baby boy :silly:  He’s *gorgeous*!

Burma is all systems go… the little hiccup which nearly cost me my future job has been resolved and I am a happy girl, in general.  The ‘other thing’ is still there, and will not go away though, and I would really like to stop it from being so hard to handle.

According to my lovely cousin, my blog is boring and I need to write more interesting things here, so either than means I make stuff up for your reading pleasure or it means I stop blogging :p

It feels like ages since I’ve blogged anything important… but the most important thing I want to blog about I can’t, because I don’t know what’s happening, don’t want to tempt fate, and also it’s work related and I don’t want to splash that all over my website.  We’ll see what happens, but it may not be good.

In other news… spent a really lovely day in Lulworth Cove on Sunday, diving with Jay and some other people from Divecrew.  It’s amazing how quickly I went from being in a foul mood to feeling peaceful and content (At least temporarily).  That seems to be typical lately… there is a lot going on in my mind and my heart, more than anybody will understand.  I am a lot more complicated than people think.  I reckon there are about 2 people on the planet who really understand the way my mind works, and neither of those people are anywhere near me at the moment.  I wish I could change that.

Jay has given my car a service and I’m dragging it off for its MOT tomorrow morning (8:00am!! HEATHENS!) so hopefully nothing will need fixing or replacing.  Last time it had an MOT, it cost me over £200 :(   But then… my brakes had failed twice the preceding week, causing me to crash it.  Both times.  Still haven’t got that dent sorted…. Not worth it I guess.

 I have a week to kill at the end of July - anybody have any suggestions?  I could visit friends, take a short holiday on my own, do absolutely nothing and just hang round the house with my dad and read books and eat crap, I dunno really… what do you think?

Oh and… I gave up on The Historian, I love my job, I’ve lost half a stone since I got back from Poland, and… cryptic sentence du jour - I’m sure you still don’t believe me, but I promise you it wasn’t me.  When I said I wouldn’t do that to you, it was the truth. /cryptic sentence

I want to spend the next 2 months making some memories.

Congratulations to my Mum and Dad, who are celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary today :lol::heart::wub:

Do you ever give up on a book you aren’t enjoying?

I very rarely, if ever, do. I don’t know if it’s because I believe there is always a chance it will improve and only when I’ve finished the last page do I realise that’s not going to happen, or if it’s because I am slightly obsessive-compulsive, but I am currently reading The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova and I’m just over a third of the way through and I really just can’t be arsed with it any more, but I can’t make myself give it up.

I *want* to be able to not care about the rest of the book and just give it to somebody else who might enjoy it, but I just can’t make myself. Worst thing is that there’s an Ian McEwan book on my shelf which I’m itching to read, but because I only ever read a couple of pages at a time of the book i’m on (because i’m not really enjoying it) it’s taking AGES to finish it!!

Message deleted.

Current Mood: Sad

There aren’t many feelings in the world which are worse than knowing you’re hurting somebody you care about