The Rosebush

And not in a sarcastic way either.

Nathalie did call me, despite not having received my messages cos she was too busy spending a fortune in the Emporium.

Anyway, we went for a GORGEOUS meal at Crepes and Co in Sukhumvit (we all had lamb tagine with cous cous… serious levels of yumminess), then got a cab to Patpong, the red light district.  We got out and walked through the markets and I wasted even more money on unpredictable-quality dvds (Desperate housewives season 3!) and a small pressie for one of my bezzie mates to cheer her up Oh and some enormous sunglasses so that Caroline will stop taking the piss out of my antique Ralph Lauren ones…

Anyway, after that we attempted a bar which Nathalie is familiar with but the hideous loud thumping drove us immediately back out again and on to another bar which N recommended - a kind of large open air thing.  Well it was about 10 minutes of Singha beer in before I finally twigged that the music which seemed offensively loud and a bit annoying was actually a live band.  This might sound a bit stupid but… when I thought it was a cd, it was just… songs I’d heard before which were good, I liked em, but too bloody loud for a bar.  When I realised it was live music, the whole thing changed. 

Of course, it also helps that Nathalie pointed out that one of the main male singers was possibly the most attractive man either of us had ever seen (see photo gallery imminently).  So, that was the rest of our night laid out for us like a roadmap.  We simply stood taking photos and almost literally dribbling onto our toes at this utterly amazingly beautiful creature who could dance like no-one else and had the most seductive smile I’ve ever seen. He knocked us off our feet.

So anyway, we played ‘groupie’ for a while and also got chatting to a Captain from Kenya Airlines who has convinced me that a group of friends and I need to have 2 weeks in Kenya at a ridiculously discounted price.  Thank you very much!

I need sleep.  I fell asleep in the cab on the way to the restaurant and can’t believe I’m still conscious after 2 hours sleep last night and all that bloody shopping!!

Wow… so on 2 hours sleep (parties all day and evening, lah de dah… bleugh) I got up and caught a flight at 7.30am to Bangkok.  Arrived, found a taxi, conked out for ten or twenty minutes in the taxi, got to hotel, checked in, quick bath then straight across the road to the most ridiculously sized shopping centre in the universe.  Then it began… Naf Naf, Sisley, MNG, Zara, the food court…. and of course…. BOOTS!! Brilliant but absolutely effing knackering.. .Time for another bath, perhaps a massage, then fingers crossed Nathalie gets in touch, otherwise I’ll be dining alone *Sniff*

Come on Nathalie!!!

Well, my jungle trek didn’t work out… my flight got cancelled and we were offered one a day later which is a fat lot of good cos thenwe’d only have 1 day in Chiang Mai.  We decided to cut our losses and cancel the whole trip, although this meant losing our £50 on the hotel.

Not one to be disheartened by such matters (or not for long at least!) I am now taking myself off to Bangkok (alone, as Karin has some other issues going on) for a day and half of SHOPPING!! And I can’t bloody wait.

On top of that, as a result of all the disappointment this week I have managed to justify (in my mind, rather than in my bank account) staying at the Novotel on Siam Square.  Only $100 a night! Peh! I’m made of money anyway… (*choke*)

My mate Nathalie is also going to Bangkok from Yangon so we will meet up for dinner. 

Here’s hoping that Orange have sorted out the issues with their Thai partner, so I can actually use my mobile phone in Thailand for the first time since January!!

Does anybody else do this or is it just me?

Hanging onto people and places from the past for some reason… why do we do it?? It’s self destructive and I honestly don’t think anything positive can really be gleaned from it. What am I searching for? Peace maybe? Or is it the comfort and reassurance of people who once felt I was important, in a time when I feel a bit lonely?

This may be another potential ‘deleter’.

It’s Sunday and I failed completely to attend Bettina’s party last night.  It took me 45 minutes of trying to find the place before I eventually gave up and went to the other party.  No excuses, I’m a dumb blonde and I should have checked I had the address before leaving work on Friday.  I know I printed it out, I *thought* I’d put it in my bag, obviously not.  What an idiot!

Have sent an apology to the leopard, but don’t know if he’s received it.

Speaking of leopards, Pur Pur is still alive but miaowing a lot - why would a kitten miaow?  It’s not because she’s hungry - she has some food. She’s not thirsty, she has water.  Her litter tray is clean, so it can’t be that either.  Love and attention?  Sometimes this stops the miaowing, but mostly I think she’s BORED!!  We have 2 cats at home and when I was a kid, and they were little, they entertained each other by playing and fighting but poor Pur Pur doesn’t have any other kitties to play with and I can’t find any toys here.  It’s just a case of giving her cotton buds and bits of paper on string.  I feel so guilty for being out of the house all day :( 

I think I’m going to eat some lasagne for lunch… mmm.

I am beginning to see the world in a new light, see people on different levels.  It’s frustrating to want so badly for somebody to see your feelings and your world through your eyes when they just can’t understand or empathise.  I guess it takes a real gift to be able to put yourself in somebody else’s shoes, especially when it’s somebody who you used to be close to and when you’re the person who made them feel bad in the first  place.

I don’ t really even know why I care.  The truth is, and I will probably remove this post before anybody gets a chance to read it, that my heart has been broken.  It’s been broken by more than once person and maybe I didn’t give it enough time to heal in between, so now it is almost smithereens.  The last one was the worst and I don’t know if I will ever really understand why “God” has allowed us to fall apart the way we have…  How can something so right and so fulfilling be disapproved of by a god who brought us together for some reason in the first place?  To me this is the most confusing thing and the reason why I just *cannot* accept… god.  Because to be brought together with somebody you feel ‘one’ with and then torn apart from them is truly a cruel punishment.  I am racking my brains to figure out what the fuck I did to deserve this but there is nothing there… I’m no saint, but none of my failures amount to this.

Damn good job I’ve got a stiff upper lip…

This week… I have been ill with a cold. A bad one.  But I didn’t take any time off sick, even though I wanted to, so this is a victory and I am brave and deserve stickers.

Also in the last week or so… I have learned (and I guess I knew this really) that some people really are just not nice.  Some people have no actual substance to their characters and are genuinely nasty on the inside.  And other people should try to recognise this in others, even if they are not being nasty to *them*.

I have also learned that out of sight is definitely not out of mind.  Josh, I am missing you.

Other things I have learned:

• Leopards do not change their spots.  Despite having new sparkly spots offered to them on a silver platter.  Hm, or maybe that isn’t true. Maybe it’s just the really nasty ones who don’t.  Other, nicer leopards have so far been very good at changing their spots and very nice spots they are too.
• Facebook is evil and addictive and has seeped into the cracks of my life, frozen and expanded and is now taking over my brain.
• When cats have worms, they drag their bottoms across the floor.
• I am glad that some people read my blog and glad that others do not. 
• I am looking forward to going home for my holiday in August, even if this means I am not branded as ‘hardcore traveller’.  I love my friends. I love my family. I love being here and I love travelling but I love going home. I miss home. I am not justifying my decision. I am happy with this
• Jungle trekking may be a good way to spend my few days off in June… what do you think?
• Life in Yangon is not the same without Natalya, Katrina and Nathalie.  It will not be the same without Katy, Steve, Philip, Zack and Nathalie.

What a great idea!!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/6721239.stm