The Rosebush

Well I’m awake and stuff, having slept for the vast majority of the last 24 hours!  If you’re interested, then below is an explanation of what was found during my laparoscopy.  This may be TMI for you, so tread carefully :)  I’m only putting it up here cos it’s cut and pasted so I don’t have to keep typing out explanations :)  It was originally intended for the endometriosis forum which I post on so has a couple of technical terms.

So first and foremost, I don’t have sciatic endo.  This is both good and bad. Good because I don’t want sciatic endo, and bad because it means that a completely different thing is causing the pain I’m experiencing.  I’ll come back to that later.

Anyway, he had a good look around while he was in there, and because I’d told him I still have some bowel pain, he decided to cut out the scar tissue from where I had a small endo lesion removed before (from the Pouch of Douglas, I think he said, not actually on the bowel, but nearby).  He cut a bit deeper than the previous surgeon had, and said that ‘chocolate substance’ (i.e. old endo blood) came out.from the deeper tissue.  So he cut around it down to the fatty layer and took it out.  

Then, he removed a 4cm cyst from my left ovary.  When he did the ultrasound the other day and pressed on my belly, he felt a hard lump, but said he thought it was just a functioning follicle and that I was ovulating.  Well once he got inside, he changed his mind and decided to take it out.  He said it could be just a normal benign cyst which was a bit too big, or it could have been a chocolate cyst in its very early form.  He’s sent it, along with the endometrial matter from the POD, to be biopsied, and the results should be back in a few days.

So as far as the operation goes, that’s basically it.

I then told him that I’ve been experiencing some pain in my neck and left shoulder (before the op I mean) and that I’d thought it was cos my pillow at home is too soft.  But when I changed the pillow for a firmer one, the pain didn’t go away.  I also mentioned that yesterday I had a weird ‘nervy’ pain radiating from the bottom of my spine, like a kind of nerve spasm or something.  He thinks that my orthopedic surgeon should refer me to a neurologist for some tests, so we can rule out any problems with my central nervous system.

If we do that, then we can probably conclude that the pain in my leg/back is either Piriformis syndrome, or some kind of referred pain from my newly discovered osteoarthritis.  And then we’ll take it from there.

So that’s it really!  I’m feeling pretty beaten up inside, but it’s not too bad.  I swallowed a painkiller but have no idea what it was.  Thankfully there’s not a drop of morphine in sight, though there is also no sign of the margarita drip I ordered…. Not quite the service I had anticipated from a private hospital!!

Hopefully will be given breakfast today… Doc wants to keep me in for a few days until my body is functioning normally and I’m strong enough to take care of myself and carry my own bags etc.  I’m happy about this, as it means I’ll have some time to rest and get some relief from the pain.

Authorisation came through… I’m in my hospital room now.  Biggest TV you’ve ever seen!  I’m gonna enjoy this while I’ve still got private health insurance

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So I’m waiting for pre-authorisation from the insurance company.  If it doesn’t come in the next few hours, I’m gonna have to postpone my surgery. Fingers tightly crossed please!

Had a long chat last night online with somebody who somehow always manages to cheer me up and make me smile!  You know who you are

I also realised what a complete gullible fool I was with regards to Jason.  The lies he told me were just endless and I can’t believe I actually thought I mattered to him.  I mean, I never thought I mattered *that* much, he wasn’t THAT good at lying, but I was definitely taken in.  What an idiot.  I believe there should be some kind of therapy program for people who are compulsive liars.  As an optimist, I feel that somewhere underneath all those hundreds of layers of deceit, there must be a genuine person SOMEWHERE, and maybe they’ve just forgotten what it’s like to be the person who tells the truth.   But they’ve lied for such a long time that they can’t remember how to not lie, and they’ve completely lost comprehension of the fact that it’s wrong.  I feel sorry for him, because he will always be alone unless he can fix himself, and I can’t see that happening.

Not that it’s my problem any more, cos I have swiftly moved on :)  So excited about coming home (a month to go!) and just being there.  I’m imagining walking through the front door, getting the kettle on, sitting down in the kitchen to catch up with my Mum and Dad over a cup of tea, whilst cuddling Minty and waiting for my brother to turn up after work.  I am also imagining taking a big deep breath, letting out a sigh and having the realisation of what I’ve experienced over the last 2 years wash over me.

More later. x

“You’ve got early Osteo-Arthritis in both your hips!!  But that’s not what’s causing your back and leg pain, oh no, that’s IN ADDITION!  You know, like buy one get one free!  Yes, you can take some very expensive tablets to ease it a bit, but basically you’ve got it for life and there’s nothing you can do. But don’t worry, it’s only mild. Don’t do any jumping. Cup of tea?”

Sooo…. Having seen an orthopedic surgeon, a gynaecologist and a physical therapist, it looks like I could have something called piriformis syndrome.  I am having another laparoscopy (keyhole surgery) on Thursday to rule out sciatic endo - it is rare, but it still exists and if it IS there, it needs to  be taken out.

In the meantime, it’s physical therapy sessions at the Bumrungrad every other day, another meeting on Monday with the physical therapist doctor woman who may or may not do more acupuncture… and then the op on Thursday.

I’m feeling pretty drained from all the to-ing and fro-ing to the hospital and the rather painful physical therapy, but am otherwise fine…  Though I have to admit that yesterday the idea of being in Bangkok by myself for an operation AGAIN seemed pretty awful, but with a new day comes a fresh mind and I’m feeling more positive today

More updates will come…

Bangkok. Hospital. MRIs, CT scans.  You’ve heard it all before and I’m sure you’re bored of it already.  So now imagine how *I* feel?

First of all, I’ve been told that I’ll be staying in Burma until the end of August.  Well that’s that, and it’s not really a huge deal, just an extra month, and it’s what I am contracted to do anyway.

Unfortunately, I just can’t face another 6 weeks of back/leg pain, gradually getting worse each day, so I went to see the GP “Dr Croissant” yesterday.  He is amazing and lovely and I couldn’t ask for a more supportive GP really…

He has referred me to “the best orthopedic surgeon in Thailand” and has asked for an appointment as soon as possible.  So if all goes according to plan, at some point next week I’ll be jetting off to Bangkok AGAIN for more scans and tests and pokes and prods.

The most likely outcome is that my laparoscopy in October has left me with adhesions (bits sticking together inside) which are trapping nerves etc.  I don’t know how they fix that, but I would imagine it involves a doctor standing on my abdomen and jumping up and down.  Or something.

The other alternative is that the little monster inside me known as endometriosis has gone exploring and decided that it really likes my sciatic nerve and wants to cuddle it a lot.  This is all very sweet and lovely, but if this is what’s wrong, it could be cuddling its way to permanent sciatic damage and scarring.  Unfortunately, the only way to find out if this *is* what’s causing my pain is to do another laparoscopy.  So if this happens, I’m looking at a minimum of a week off work, possibly 2, and if they actually find endo and start chopping it out, then I may not come back to work at all.  

I may as well get a big flashing hat that says “Public Enemy #1″.  I’ve already been given the coldest shoulder imaginable by a girl at work who I had thought was my friend, because she’s just been told she has to cover my classes this week.  I know that she’s also going through a stressful time because she doesn’t know where her own future lies at the moment, and I’m sympathetic, but I don’t think that’s a good reason for shutting me out…  This alone has made me more unhappy than knowing I may need to have another operation

Anyway, I’ll post more updates when I know what’s going on.

Click here to see my new car

Not wanting to tempt fate here, cos we don’t actually *have* the car yet, but my dad has agreed a deal on a car for me and it’s been accepted, just waiting to pick it up on Wednesday! YAY!!!

My 2nd Clio, it’s 7 years old but has only done 15,000 miles and has been kept in a garage since new.  It’s in immaculate condition, a lovely grey/silver colour and I am a very happy girl.  Can’t wait to meet my new wheels!

End of term at last!

Even though we had three weeks’ closure, it still felt like a long term… I guess the stress of the cyclone took its toll on everybody eventually.  Very glad to have a holiday

So… yesterday was spent re-packing my stuff to be shipped next week.  It’s not too much, so I’m hoping it can go by air freight.

I spent most of the day watching the third season of Friends (still makes me giggle like an idiot) and looking for cars on Autotrader. I’m currently considering:

• Renault Clio
• Citroen C3
• Ford Ka
• Vauxhall Corsa

If any of you has an opinion on these based on experience, please email me or leave a comment.  I REALLY need some help - all I see when I look at What Car is what’s wrong with it - and they *all* seem to have something which lets them down!  I had a Clio myself before I left England, and would be going for a newer model this time.  I’m looking for cars which are 5-7 years old.  Not sure whether my dad should get one while i’m still away so I have it as soon as I get back (so I can see the girls straight away!!) or if I should wait until I can go along with my dad to look at some myself.

Anyhoo…. today I will be mostly…. drinking tea and playing Okami on the Wii!!

I have not left the building today.

At the moment I am wondering if there is ANY POSSIBLE WAY I can get private healthcare in the UK to cover a pre-existing condition.  It seems futile… If I was still with Jason I might have been able to join his healthcare plan but alas, that is not to be.  Trying to find out if I can keep using my Expat medical insurance after I return to the UK if I take on the costs myself, but I’m not too hopeful, especially as i’ve made 2 claims in the last 8 months and am about to make a 3rd.  I think they’ll want to get rid of me as soon as possible!!

Wish there was some way I could figure it out, as I’m probably going to have to have various different treatments over the next few years, but that is just not the way insurance companies work.

If anybody happens to know of a healthcare plan which would cover a pre-existing, chronic condition, please let me know!!  I won’t hold my breath.

Just been “caught” crying at work and my lovely boss (well he’s senior to me but not actually my boss) was trying to be supportive, but men are just rubbish aren’t they… He was like “Oh, should I back off? I’m leaving in a minute anyway.” Bless him.

Why am I crying? Because yet again, last night I had a terrible night with pain in my leg. I just couldn’t get comfortable (again) and I’m SO sick of having this stupid pain that nobody can explain. I’ve tried putting a pillow between my knees and lying on my side, tried lying on my front, my back… Just end up tossing and turning. No painkillers or anti-inflammatories work.

I was so sure it must have been sciatic endo, but the docs in Bangkok did an MRI and said there was no evidence of endo there. I know I should be happy about that, but I want to know what’s wrong so I can take the next step. I don’t *care* if I have to have an op to sort it out, I’m in a position now where it doesn’t matter, because I’ll be out of work anyway.

So frustrated