I don’t want to tempt fate… but…
This morning, I was pondering (over my cup of tea). It was a beautiful sunny day, just like today, about 2 years ago, maybe a bit less, when I went through a dreaming phase. I had been talking to my friend Lena about Thailand and I’d bought books on it, and on Burma/Myanmar. I was lying in the garden, in the sun, and dreaming about one day, somehow, living in one of these beautiful countries. It was this same ‘dream’ which made me take up scuba diving… it felt like a step towards something I couldn’t easily reach. Don’t know why really. Maybe because underwater, I can imagine I’m anywhere. And it gives me an excuse to be by the sea (*in* the sea, in fact) which I love. It was one of those impossible dreams - like winning the lottery or marrying some gorgeous wealthy man with a heart of gold and spending every second weekend on a mad city break in western europe. One of the things we wish we could have, but know that we can’t.
And now I find myself thinking… we can. Okay, so winning the lottery is fairly uncontrollable. But… I wanted it so badly… and somehow (and I don’t really even remember how it started) I find myself in a position where, if all goes to plan (and believe me there are plenty of things which could go wrong at this point), I could actually be living my dream in just 3 months.
I am so nervous that something will go wrong… that the B*rmese g*vernment will stop the BC from running courses, that I won’t be able to get a visa, that BC will change their minds before I’ve officially signed a contract (unlikely i think, at this point, but you never know). And I feel a bit like I don’t deserve this kind of good luck - BC never take people on with less than 2 years experience… i’ve got less than 6 months. I just can’t quite believe it’s happening and my fingers are crossed so damn tightly in the hope that everything goes according to plan…
I guess time will tell 